My Top Five

years ago, i wrote more narrative stories and less this-is-what-i-did-today posts. it was before i had a professional writing job, when i was living in such a vibrant, inspiring city that i was bursting at the seams with ideas and characters and plots, loving nothing more than scrawling everything down, bringing it all to life. i miss that.

these are my favorite five posts i wrote that way. i hope you can sit back, relax and stay awhile.

1)

gretcheroonie is a san francisco treat

how i met my best childhood friend and where we are today

2)

just another san franciscan on the t

in my dreams, this is the first page of my novel.

3)

geary street's familiar strangers

on the impact of strangers: sometimes you don't know they've touched your life until they're gone.

4)

a day in the life of baby and me

a typical (exhausting, and totally real) day with a five-week-old baby. it's not written like the other stories, but it's one that had to be told. 

5)

mel's song: spare change please, please.

the story of alexa's and my growing fondness for a homeless man we encountered every day on the corner of our favorite san francisco diner. {lex, this one's a tribute to you! xx}

On Finding Balance

balancing act

as a working mom, my biggest challenge has been finding the perfect balance between home and the office. now more than ever, i feel so lucky that jeff and i work for a company that promotes work-life balance and allows alternative work schedules. i know not all parents are so fortunate. after evie was born, it took a few trials and errors to figure out what felt right: we tried working from home once a week, working four ten-hour days with a day off in the middle, and working half days. i knew i couldn't be away from my baby five days a week, eight hours a day, but the thought of staying home full time scared the pants off me. (bravo to all you stay-at-home moms. i truly believe it's the hardest job in the world.) now, we work full days on tuesday, thursday and friday, and half days monday and wednesday (mornings for me, afternoons for jeff). we get to spend lots of time with our girl while maintaining lives outside the home, a balance that has strengthened our bond and made us happier as a mommy and daddy.

but it's a daily battle, the balancing act. just because i'm home on monday and wednesday afternoons doesn't mean work stops. i see emails come through on my iphone and scan them them while evie is eating or napping, deciding which ones can wait until tomorrow, which can wait until after evie goes to bed for the night, and which should be answered now. luckily, most can wait. if i give one-hundred percent at the office, i want to give one-hundred percent at home, too. i try not to have my phone out while evie's around because i want her to have my undivided attention, learn that interacting face-to-face is more important than "playing" on an electronic device. but i also want my coworkers to know i'm fully dedicated even though i'm home some afternoons. i've learned to prioritize, to realize when it's probably okay to have my phone out, and to recognize the moments with my daughter that i'll never have again, the ones for which i should be completely present. most of the time, i'm completely present. i hope evie remembers that about her childhood.

p.s. that first photo? was taken at jeff's grandma's birthday party in april. it would be a framer if it weren't for the old lady in the background! in case it's not completely obvious, that black sticker ("j+m+e") is there to cover her face. apparently there's some camera technology that can erase unwanted people from the background of photos. have you heard of it? i wish i had that!

Surgery. Check!

i'm so happy this whole eyelid surgery business is behind us, and ecstatic to report that everything went perfectly. our brave little evelyn did great. honestly, i think the hardest part for her was having to skip breakfast the morning of surgery (she wasn't allowed to eat or drink six hours before the anesthesia).  she recently learned the word breakfast, and it broke my heart hearing "breakfast? breakfast?" as we were leaving the house. 

evelyn knew something was up when we changed her into the hospital gown, but she never stopped smiling. she looked so cute in the thing we snapped a few iphone pictures of her—probably the last ones we'll have of her trademark droopy eyelid, which we've grown to adore over the last 17 months—before passing her off to the anesthesiologists. (pay no attention to my unwashed mommy 'do or the fact that i'm wearing the same dirty tee i wore on mother's day. despite my smile, i was a sleep-deprived and anxious wreck.)

the anesthesiologists told us that redhead kids sometimes need a bigger dose of that candy-flavored medicine to induce anesthesia because of their low pain tolerance, and that they usually wake up more upset, or feisty, than other kids. (weird, right?)

they were spot-on.

evelyn came out of the anesthesia thrashing and screaming, like she was in pain. the doctors assured me she wasn't. she probably just didn't like the way she felt: drunk from the medicine and anesthetic vapor. nothing calmed her. she cried bloody tears all over my already dirty t-shirt as the doctors injected her with morphine. i cried, too. finally, between sobs, evelyn choked out the words "all done," and i knew she just wanted to go home.

evie fell asleep in the car, her new eyelid so tight it wouldn't even close all the way. she was staring at me while she slept. (according to the doctor, that's normal, and the muscle will loosen up soon. whew!)

i prepared a feast for evie when we got home: apples (her favorite), a few different cheeses, zucchini bread, strawberries, a whole lot of milk, even some french fries. and she was back to normal, just like that. not three hours after her surgery, she was ready to play, bounce, run, read—as if nothing ever happened. it's amazing how kids bounce back like that. 

i'll spare you the pictures of her post-op eye because it's pretty bruised and swollen and probably gross to anyone who's not her mom. through the puffy black and blue skin and stitches, we can tell the doctors did an amazing job. it's got to be sore, but evie seems happier than usual—probably because it's nice being able to see.

happy list

day 14 of the challenge (a couple days late): a list of ten things that make me really happy. this is an easy one.

1) weekend brunch with friends. seriously, this is one of my favorite things of all time.

2) baby toes, especially when they curl with happiness like this.

 3) family beach trips. you can't beat 'em!

4) my morning latte. oh, it makes me so happy.

5) eating, drinking and laughing with my best girlfriends.

6) backyard barbecues and freshly picked wildflowers. (i have a little obsession with snatching flowers that don't belong to me.) summer in general. 

7) thinking back on this moment, one of the best of my life.

8) my new outdoor living room. the last few nights, i've sat out here with a glass of wine and magazine until dark. jeff has had to make dinner because i can't bare to be inside when the weather's great and my little patio looks like this.

9) this picture. when i look at it, i remember how lucky i am to be evelyn's mama.

10) family reunions at the jersey shore, where it's warm and peaceful and easy, where we stay up late telling stories and my cheeks ache from laughter.

grillin' and chillin' with mom

every mother's day, jeff and i invite our parents, brothers and sisters over for dinner. "but it's your day, too," my mom always says, a trace of guilt in her voice. she doesn't want me cleaning and slaving over dinner on mother's day. then again, she did it it for years—until she became a grandmother and finally got invited to someone else's house (thanks to me). but i love hosting. having both moms over on mother's day is a heck of a lot easier than visiting two families to deliver two presents. and it's more fun, too. 

jeff's family was out of town last weekend, so we had a smaller-than-average barbecue for my parents and younger sister. i took advantage of the little group and got cutesy with plates (burger baskets!), cups and straws.

while i took pictures, evie waited patiently for her baby-size burger that jeff made specially for her. jeff really wanted me to take pictures of it (because a tiny burger is just so cute and funny!).

we had fun showing evie how to eat that tiny burger like a burger is supposed to be eaten. we didn't cut it into bite-size pieces like normal (safer?) parents of a toddler would do. we just planted the whole thing in her hand and let her at it.

this year, i took this brilliant blogger's advice and got our moms brag books: accordion style books that fold up nicely and fit perfectly in a purse pocket. now our moms will have easily accessible, high quality snaps of evelyn when coworkers and friends ask to see photos of their granddaughter. 

oh, jeff was at the barbecue too. but this is the only evidence i have of it. (just look at evie going to town on that mini bleu cheese burger!)

i hope all you moms had a wonderful mother's day weekend. 

a moment in my day

some of the best moments in my day are on the drive home.

every tuesday and thursday, i drive a half hour to pick evie up from daycare and a half hour home, even though home is just three minutes from my office. (we have an incredible part-time childcare provider who just so happens to live completely out of the way, but she's worth every minute and every penny it takes to get to her house.) evie usually sings the whole way home. i can never tell if she's excited to see me or if she just loves to sing. either way, her chirpy mood erases any stress or pressure that has escalated throughout the workday and just makes me happy to be in the car, homeward bound. sometimes i crank the volume on her favorite pandora station and she goes nuts. we sing along to new renditions of "the itsy bitsy spider" and play peek-a-boo at red lights. i ask about her day and what we should have for dinner. evie always wants apple or "adodo" (avocado). 

this week, the late-afternoon sun has been pouring through our open windows, warming our cheeks, and i've been putting the sunshade down on the car seat to save evie's snow-white skin from frying. but evie doesn't want the sunshade down. she'd rather squint through the beautiful oregon sun than block it completely, and i don't blame her. sometimes, in late afternoon, we take a short walk through the neighborhood to soak it up. 

late afternoons have always been my favorite.

happy thursday, friends. 

baby shower saturday

on saturday i hosted a baby shower for maijken, who's been one of my best friends since college. we both moved to san francisco right after graduation; we've worked at three of the same companies together since sophomore year (we're really good at getting jobs for one other); and we were in each other's weddings. maijken and i are determined for evie and her baby girl (due july 7, maijken's birthday!) to someday be as close as we are.

the theme: bubbly and brunch

the colors: pink, white, gold

the games: don't say baby, how big is mama's tummy? and diaper raffle

i love repurposing this old window from our wedding reception. in october, it was the backdrop to our seating chart. since then, it's been displayed in our front entryway and used for a few different parties. it just looks good, no matter the occasion!

the first time i saw wishes for baby cards was at my shower in 2011, and i fell in love with the sentiment. my friend even made them into a little book for me. sometimes evie and i look through the book, and i'm reminded of what great friends we have. i wanted to do the same for maijken.

you can't go wrong with a mimosa bar, right? we had bubbly with splashes of fresh grapefruit juice and raspberry lemonade. the mama-to-be added sparkling soda to her juice, and it was just as yummy.